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About the Book

To give children a lasting sense of self-worth and belonging, the adults in their lives must show up authentically — just as they are. In For Real, Alexander Kopelman offers a creative, compassionate roadmap for parents, educators, and caregivers to help kids explore who they truly are — and, in the process, rediscover authenticity within themselves.

Through original research, expert insights, and honest conversations with children, For Real reveals how social norms and hidden biases shape identity from an early age. Kopelman examines the subtle ways we learn to suppress our real selves —how liking the “wrong” color or toy can spark shame — and invites readers to unpack those messages with curiosity and care.

Blending art, reflection, and storytelling, For Real introduces creative exercises such as journaling prompts, poetry, and the “celestial map of your inner universe.” These activities guide both adults and children in understanding their emotions, values, and voice — building confidence and belonging along the way.

In a world where external pressures are louder than ever, For Real reminds us that authenticity is a practice we grow together. When adults embrace their own truth, they help children do the same — and everyone flourishes.

Edition Details

Format
Paperbook

Language
English

ISBN-10
1774587254

ISBN-13
978-1774587256

Release Date
June 9, 2026

Length
344 Pages

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What’s Inside

For Real takes readers on a journey toward authenticity for both adults and children. Part I explores the messages we absorb and how bias and cultural “shoulds” shape our thinking. Part II invites adults into self-reflection and creative practices that support personal growth. Part III focuses on helping children grow into their authentic selves with practical activities for home and in the classroom. A final toolbox includes art activities, journaling and poetry prompts, and facilitation tips for educators and caregivers.

Chapter 1 page titled “What’s Authenticity, and What Is It to Me?” from For Real. The page defines authenticity as alignment between inner self and outward persona, describes it as an ongoing practice tied to well-being and relationships, and encourages self-reflection through creating self-portraits.Chapter 2 page titled “Growing a Self” from For Real. The page explores early childhood development, including William James’s concepts of the I-self and Me-self, language development, autobiographical memory, and the role of supportive adults in shaping authentic self-identity.Chapter 3 page titled “To See and Be Seen” from For Real. The page discusses belonging, autonomy, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, self-determination theory, and the importance of social connection and unconditional support in developing a healthy sense of self.Chapter 4 page titled “You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught” from For Real. The page examines how societal messages about children, adultism, and power imbalances influence children’s self-image and contribute to feelings of being “less than.”Chapter 5 page titled “So Many Reasons to Hide” from For Real. The page explores how societal messages and shame affect children’s perceptions of themselves and emphasizes creating safe spaces for open conversation about stigma and self-acceptance.

For Educators

Bring Authenticity into Learning


Every classroom can be a space where students feel seen, valued, and free to express who they truly are. For Real offers educators a compassionate, creative framework for self-exploration and self-expression to help to help every child — and teacher — grow with authenticity.

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Create Safe Spaces

Foster classroom cultures where curiosity, vulnerability, and respect replace judgment and fear.

Teach Through Creativity

Use journaling, art, and reflection to deepen empathy and self-awareness in students.

Model What’s Real

Show your own authenticity as an educator—your honesty becomes their permission to do the same.

For Families

Authenticity Begins at Home


Caring for children with authenticity isn’t about being perfect — it’s about being present. For Real helps families slow down, reconnect, and explore what it means to live truthfully together through simple, creative practices that build trust, belonging, and joy.

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Explore Together

Use art, journaling, and conversation prompts to discover what matters most 
to your family.

Celebrate Every Voice

Encourage your child’s individuality by replacing “shoulds” with curiosity and acceptance.

Grow Together

As you guide your child toward 
self-understanding, you’ll rediscover 
your own sense of authenticity too.

For Healthcare Professionals

Support the Whole Child


Children’s emotional well-being is deeply connected to how they understand themselves and their place in the world. For Real offers healthcare professionals a thoughtful, creative resource to help young people explore identity, build self-awareness, and develop resilience through reflection and expression.

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Encourage Emotional Insight

Use gentle prompts and creative activities to help children articulate feelings, experiences, and personal strengths.

Foster Connection and Trust

Create opportunities for open dialogue that strengthen relationships between young people, caregivers, and professionals.

Promote Healthy Self-Understanding

Support children in recognizing their authentic selves, helping them build confidence, empathy, and emotional resilience.

Praise for Real

Leave a Review

Alexander Kopelman has written a profound exploration of what it means to live a life of authenticity and its resounding positive impact on early childhood development. From start to finish, For Real is an engaging must-read for anyone who wishes to pursue a deeper sense of belonging and pay it forward to future generations.

Danny Meyer, founder of the Union Square Hospitality Group

As someone still recovering from the bias I encountered during my debilitating attempts at socialization as a child, I believe this book is a boon to anyone who wants to provide better childhoods for their children and students.

Gary Shteyngart, author of Vera, or Faith and Super Sad True Love Story

As a new grandma, without the everyday anxieties of parenting, I have a do-over opportunity to be more mindful and more present with my grandchildren. I read For Real not to redo my past but to understand it with gentler (wiser?) eyes—as a guidebook for me to help the children I love by doing less suppressing, less molding, less pressuring, and more listening, nurturing, and allowing. Crafting is my love language, and the creative activity suggestions provide opportunities to bring authenticity themes to life in a memorable way.

Susan A. Buffett, chair of the Sherwood Foundation

For Real is a must-read book for any adult who wishes to engage honestly with children—their own or not—helping them spread their wings to discover myriad talents and, in so doing, simultaneously encouraging deep reflection and dissection of one’s own abilities and authenticity.

Avantika Akerkar, actor, advocate, and communications consultant

For Real: Helping Children Remain Their Authentic Selves in a Limiting World is a thoughtful and accessible exploration of authenticity, identity, and the environments that shape how children see themselves. The writing is clear and reflective, presenting psychological concepts in a way that feels engaging rather than academic. I appreciated how the book connects theory with real-world application, encouraging readers to think more deeply about how adults influence children’s self-perception. The structure works well, with short, focused sections that invite reflection without feeling overwhelming. The emphasis on empathy, social connection, and the impact of societal messages is particularly strong. Rather than offering rigid advice, the book encourages awareness, curiosity. and intentionality — which feels both realistic and valuable. Overall, this is a meaningful, well-presented read for parents, educators, and anyone interested in child development and emotional well-being. it prompts important self-reflection while remaining warm and approachable.

Pamela S., NetGalley

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